Lets start on a high note,Â graphically speaking this game is honestly not bad. Â However I would say that statement is theÂ equivalent of someone saying Â at a murder & rapists funeral ‘he always wore nice shoes’. Â Obviously a lot of work went into making this game appeal, you know ‘shiny colours’. Â But all in all this is a very boring game. Â Attempts have been made to rectify this painfully obvious fault with the seemingly endless game options but just a swing and a miss each and every time. Â I mean there are only so many things you can do with a dirt bike, going around a dirk trackÂ aren’tÂ there? Â I mean maybe I’m missing something, maybe there is a market for this type of crap but I’m just not in said market.
OK so lets take about the extra game modes or at least the ones available in the Demo, one of the attempts to make this game fun is an in game bike flip trick known as ‘Scrub’. Â Pretty basic, when you take your bike over a jump, hold down the X button for just the right amount of time before your rider falls off and gives you the most amount of satisfaction you will get from this game. Â Your scored by either ‘good’, ‘great’ or ‘perfect. Â So not only does this game suck but itsÂ condescendingÂ too, awesome. Â Again, this is a swing and a miss moment to make the game more enjoyable but at the end of the day fuck me your riding a dirt bike around a mud track around and around and around and around…
All is not lost however, it can be fun to just count up how many ways this game can irritate you at the same time. Â Lets begin with the stupid andÂ unnecessary 90’s (we think we are hard but are not) metal music, obviously designed to get you in the mood to RACE. Â FAIL! Â It got me in the mode to delete the demo before I’ve reviewed it. Â If that’s not already pushed you off the edge, the animation of the menu screens is so jerky, bright and stupid you will actually contract epilepsy! Â Now that’s new one so at least this game has a little bit orÂ originality to it. Â If that’s still not pushed you over the edge how about the ‘heros’ names. Â Yeah that’s right, this game refers to the riders as Heros. Â That alone put me into a dark place with this game, Tony Stark is a hero, you my friend are aÂ MuppetÂ who still lives at his grandmas while mummy is doing 15 to 20. Â The ‘hero’ you are given to play with goes by the name of Lars ‘Shredder’ Keller. Â A blonde, long hairedÂ douche who is dressed as a biker but I’m sure if he actually met a biker said biker would have him as a side dish.
Other game modes on offer are the Official mode, which is just a time attack race. Â There is also a MUD world tour mode which enables an offline mutiplayer mode for you and bots. Â This to be honest was more enjoyable than the single race however still pretty crap. Â You can choose your heros and bikes before each race, which takes way too long and by the time you get started your already bored.
This game is a good choice for your 10 year old kid, they wont be able to go wrong with it. Â Its Â nice and bright, loud and harmless you know. Â It would also suit any adult who still has arguments with people over the fact that he feels his dad could beat up your dad, and still logs intoÂ FacebookÂ by going toÂ GoogleÂ and typing inÂ FacebookÂ into the search bar.
Its fair to say that this game was created so that Monster energy drink could sponsor it and haveÂ theirÂ logo’s plastered all over the game. Â I mean one of the features of the game is that you can give your rider a hit from a Monster energy drink to boost hisÂ performance. Â Weak guys, real weak. Â Â Not a bad shout guys but next time try to put your name on something a little more reputable, also maybe a game where the owners of the game actually have money to buy your drinks? Â Oh, before I forget. Â People only by Monster energy drinks when the storeÂ doesn’tÂ have or we cant afford Red Bull. Â Just saying.